


Write It Out

by martiniseok



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Diary/Journal, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, HOW TO TAG: a novel not by me, Lowercase, M/M, Matt centric, Original Character(s), Post-Kerberos Mission, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Reunions, Swearing, kinda lol, soft, this was before season four came out, v soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 18:19:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11537838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martiniseok/pseuds/martiniseok
Summary: Finding a blank book, Matt Holt decides to write in it. He says it's for his own mental reasons, but he never guesses his own journal means so much more than just an outlet.





	Write It Out

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE WRITING IN LOWERCASE CAUSE PROPER GRAMMAR SUCKS SO I USED THE LOWERCASE HABIT AND COVERED IT UP WITH A JOURNAL-ESC FIC.   
> (but i love screaming in capitals lmao)  
> anyways i love writing via journal/text messages. (but there is already so much text messaging au's so why not switch it up with a journal au?) 
> 
> and i added hunk in there. just cause he's my favorite character next to matt.

**(2:23am cycle time - esil third - equivalent to march third)**  
 _i don't know how to start this journal. i don't like using dear diary. seems too cheesy. but, i'll start with who i am.  
i'm matt holt. i am a 24yr old human astrobiologist. and i have PTSD and depression.   
  
now i don't know where i found this book and pen, but i'm making the best out of it. i never had this problem back on earth. in fact, i was a pretty happy and easygoing guy. but a few of my friends who did struggle with this always recommended to write it. or do something to vent. now i'm trying that out.   
  
let's start with how i got my illnesses.   
i was abducted by some purple furry aliens while out on my mission with shiro and dad. we became prisoners and suffered.   
  
i hate going into detail about what happened. but i'm sure you can gather from "aliens" and "prisoner" and "suffered" our time with them was the worst time.   
  
afterwards, i was busted out by the Rebellion and now i'm part of them. shiro and dad are still missing. shiro most likely being dead and dad working somewhere. i like to think he's okay.   
  
i well, i guess that's that.   
_ **  
(6:21pm cycle time - esil tenth - march tenth)**  
 _delay is like procrastination. but procrastination with a reason other than "i'm too lazy." or "i'm too tired."  
  
but that doesn't matter.   
  
so, i had a rescue mission with the team. we performed as well as we always do. met some funky folks. i think they are named nyma and rolo? nyma was a yellow tall alien with big purple eyes and rolo... he looked like a high rock with his purple-gray skin. his face was droopy and his body was so lanky. i would've made a weed joke if they would understand what 4/20 means.   
  
funny thing is, they somehow ran into a voltron? i don't know what that is exactly but some kind of super weapon. katie would've liked the idea of something so sci-fi be a reality like this.   
  
speaking of reality, space kinda sucks. sure it's cool to explore and all that, but the conflict and what the home planet aliens say about galra makes my stomach turn. maybe that's the only reason why space sucks so much.   
_ **  
(4:38am cycle time - esil twenty one - march 21st)**  
 _space time is strange. it goes hur'l, ye'tir, esil, wenite, desciore, feiti, seq, x'tin, kellume, qetji, uuio, and stopi. 12 'months' with names i can barely pronounce? it's not galran at all but i think it's a dead language u'rin uses? he's still alive and going strong at 289 'years' old (it's really like 37 years earth time.)  
  
i noticed this used to be a vent thing, but now it's just a dumb thing i write in when i'm free. which, as you can gather. isn't very much time. i'm always on missions or meetings. i write at late times or delayed missions/meetings. i can't sleep nowadays. not with dad and shiro missing and mom and katie worried sick like this. i said i would help the rebellion, but as i work i will hunt down info about their whereabouts and go after them ASAP. the rebellion agreed and gave me their good lucks.   
  
i would lie if i said this team helped me build myself up again. of course, i'm not my old self. but my smartass and stupid jokes still live on. i'm just more adventurous and a 'good leader' as i am told. just peppered with slight anxiety. haha..  
oh boy. slight isn't even a word that covers it. _  
  
**(7:28 cycle time - wenite five - april fifth.)**  
 _its funny cause i could EASILY stop using the alien alphabet for the months. but i barely know which is which. so i translate them. i don't dare with the number lines though. super complicated compared to earth number lines. U'rin was nice enough to give me a sheet of months, days, letters, and numbers he wrote in half a second. but it's all greek gibberish to me. so i don't bother with it.  
  
hell, i can barely pronounce this month. wenite? as in "we-night"? or "when-ite"? U'rin tells me it's like... "wénite" or something super harsh on my tongue. i just say "when-ite". much more softer on me. u'rin laughs when i say the dates and doesn't even try to correct me anymore. it's funny actually. cause u'rin's tongue is built for harsher words. you just know because of his accent. it's cool though! it's like hearing an alien-like accent from earth. like german.   
  
gosh, i miss mom's german cooking.  
_   
**(5:28am cycle time - wenite sixth - april sixth)**  
 _i'm actually writing in this the next day as my last entry! good job matt. you did something that doesn't require hurting an innocent!  
  
if shiro were here, he'd tell me to shut my mouth and give me encouraging words. what a dad friend.   
  
shiro was always a good guy. had good intentions and good instincts. if i accidentally cut myself while cooking, he'd come at my aid and bandage my finger. if i were stressed, he'd always find a way to put me back at ease. shiro was never good at cooking actually. i learned that the hard way. but he was so nice enough to even attempt to cook for me because i had my appendix surgery the day before. he knew he sucked, but tried anyways.   
  
mom helped clean up the kitchen. they gave me a plate of french toast and eggs. "colleen made the toast. i scrabbled the eggs." shiro said. he had such a confident face and smirked so smugly. i wanted to kiss it off, but i was A.) starving and B.) fresh from surgery. i kissed his smug ass face that evening while we were watching Lilo & Stitch for the millionth time.   
  
i miss shiro..._  
**  
(1:29pm - cycle time - wenite twelfth - april twelfth.)**  
 _i'm in a time crunch at the moment. the rebellion and i are at a new base. had to move locations cause a galra ally spotted us. we made it out fine. now the team's moving around finding places to locate the tents and tech.  
  
they have orders for me, but i'm shockingly not procrastinating on them. i'm waiting for them to give me the signal to. so as i wait, i'm writing.   
  
the pen is starting to run out, so i'll have to ask agnes, our commander and reporter, for a new pen. even if i'm a little (very) intimidated by her. her glowing pink strips that are sometimes red and magenta scare me. i've heard her say that they change on mood, and pink was neutral, magenta was serious, and red was angry. normally they're magenta. in battle they're red. sometimes i catch them being blue. although i don't know what blue means, i can gather it's perhaps sadness? or disappointment?   
  
sad thing is about her, she has no idea what species she is or where she's from. all she knows is that she was raised in galran hostage and somehow escaped and is fighting back for taking her culture away from her. i'm proud of her.  
_ **  
(12:12am cycle time - wenite twentieth - april twentieth)**  
 _happy national weed day.  
may our weed be smokin ev'ryday  
  
shiro would facepalm and laugh at me._  
**  
(8:27am cycle time - desciore first - may first)**  
 _it's almost may fourth.  
goddamn. star wars was my shit back then. if i owned an actual lightsaber, the rebellion see me running down the walkways screeching the star wars opening.   
  
katie and dad loved star wars too. mom laughed at us when we spoke of it at dinner. she never understood what was happening because "there's too many characters." or "too many movies."  
  
i can't blame her actually. there is a lot happening. i wonder how the carrie fisher is doing.  
_   
**(10:28pm cycle time - desciore fifth - may fifth)**  
 _i missed may fourth. but that day we had a very important mission so i had no time to celebrate.  
  
but the galran ally spotted us again. know we're in a huge spacecraft with one room for tents and the tech. story short, i'm sharing my tent with 23 other aliens. i’m burning up, i had to take off my gear and my boots. if suffering isn't a good enough word, it's death.  
  
funnily enough, drawing became a habit of mine since i left earth. perhaps i have nothing else to do. i sucked at drawing in the first place, but now in space for god knows how long, i can draw a decent hand? it looks like a rock with five worms shooting out of it, but it looks better than the stick figures and the sun shoved into the corner of the paper drawings i used to do.   
  
i met an alien whose entire species relies on artwork actually! they were interesting. they had super colorful skin, vibrant and soft. it hurt to look at them. they were super tall and thin as a my arm. seven fingers, two sets of arms, two legs, and four pitch black eyes. no nose, and a huge wide mouth. there's a breathing hole on the bottom of their chin. from what i can recognize, they don't have a gender. they wore the same rebellion gear as the rest of the team, but they just stood out. their entire tent wall is covered in work. scenes of their planet's forests to the planets we've visited. fuck, they even drawn u'rin and me! i look awesome!  
_   
  
. . .  
  
  
**(??? cycle time - estimated september fourth)**  
 _our spacecraft crashed. half of the rebellion is dead. the time system shut down. i can't remember the month's names. so i'll going off of earth's time.  
  
we don't know where we are. we've been stuck here for god knows how long and some of us have died from starvation and overheat. my own body is starting to give out from this heat. im surprisjdnr the ink on this page isn't melting!   
  
oh, just kidding. i just touched it. i can't read 'surprised' anymore.   
  
but i just haven't had the energy to write. not with this heat. but i haven't written in a while so... here you go.  
_ **  
(??? cycle time - estimated september thirtieth)**  
 _we found water. it's underground. it's cold and so refreshing. bless.  
_ **  
(??? cycle time - estimated october sixteenth)**  
 _we found some remaining pieces of our leftover broken tech and we built a computer. we send out a distress signal.  
  
god i hope whoever gets it comes.   
_   
**(??? cycle time - estimated november first** )  
 _help has come._

  
Matt put down his hot pen and closed his book. Surely the ink has smudged onto the other page, but that is the last on Matt's mind.   
  
The Rebellion is joyful in the spacecraft showing up on their hot planet. U'rin, the Rebellion founder and leader, walked to the landing craft. He waited for the craft to land and whoever is inside emerge.  
  
Although half, maybe more, of the Rebellion is dead, there is still so many people. Matt could barely see who walks down from the craft to talk to U'rin. From his small height, he can see a figure human-like with a huge bun of silver white hair and another figure, tall with a helmet on. The figure with the bun wore a strange armor-like suit and the other's armor was black and white with glowing turquoise lights.   
  
They spoke quickly. They nodded and departed. U'rin turned towards the rest of the Rebellion.  
  
"We had allied with Voltron!" said U'rin, "They will help us restore our broken tech and fight against Zarkon with us!"   
  
The Rebellion cheered with joyfulness of Voltron's kindness. Although, the word 'Voltron' made Matt skeptical. He's heard of it before, and from what he knows. It's a super weapon that's last in line that's able to defeat Zarkon. Rumor has it, Voltron is allied with Galra. Seems unrealistic, and Matt knows it is. But it never hurts to check and see if a rumor's true.   
  
Matt never questioned their ally with Voltron to U'rin or Agnes. Instead, he acted normal. Following orders and talking with teammates as he normally would. Little do they know, he was planning something. Something that might make the Rebellion hate him, Voltron hate him, or Voltron hate the Rebellion. It's risky, Matt knows. He uses a disguise. He'd use the last of his prisoner jumpsuit and top instead of his Rebel gear. He'd shove his hair back into a ribbon made from thin, tough roots.   
  
Now it's evening, and Voltron (or Castle of Lions, he should say) hasn't left. Matt hasn't ran around outside his boots with his prosthetic legs. Perhaps because they were heavy, and the boots were made to make him lightweight by a tiny hovercraft built into the soles of the boots, resulting in super light and almost soundless footsteps. Incredible engineering and clever as can be. Matt decides to leave the boots on and cover them in extra cloth he's gathered so if he's caught, Voltron wouldn't recognize him as a Rebel.  
  
Matt starts to shove back his hair and tie it tightly. Changes into his prisoner jumpsuit and scratchy top and covers his boots in the dark cloth. Under the jumpsuit, he strapped on a sleeve of tech for the map, pressure levels, and to instruct the smaller piece of tech to get into computers. He then smears black soot into his face for extra disguise. He grabs a small bag to carry the said small piece of tech and a small weapon.   
  
Afterwards, he dashed down the walkways. Tents laid out beside him as he ran. He knows he cannot hide beside one. His shadow will reflect down into the tent from the moonlight and alarm whoever is inside.   
  
Matt's tent wasn't far. Luckily, he was next to the castle. But his was between some tents, although he was in the corner. 'So many tents.' Matt thought.  
  
He hides behind the navy blue bushes and trees from passerby and as soon as he knows it, the castle opening is right in front of him.  
  
May curiosity kill the cat.   
  
But Matt knows better. First thing when he enters, they're might be an identity scan or invader trap. But to find another way in might be more of a challenge then sneaking into Shiro's place through windows. The castle is a spacecraft, not a house. Oxygen isn't abundant in the castle than Earth. So open windows is definitely off the list.   
  
Matt inspects the Castle, and noticed if he could stick the small piece of tech onto the wall of the opening, he can shut down whatever trap or scan the Castle has for a few seconds. He doesn't want to break it. It'll seem obvious that someone was snooping around inside without the Castle's knowledge. And Matt wants to leave no trace of his existence touching foot inside.   
  
He grabs the piece from his back and sticks it next to the door. He rolls up his jumpsuit sleeve and gets to work. His fingers fly over the buttons until the red 'DECLINED' label changes to a green 'ACCEPTED'. He grabs the piece from the wall, watches the door open, and dashes inside. The piece works! He wasn't scanned or attacked!  
  
He'd celebrate later. Now, he needs to go to the main deck where important information is. His sleeve glows and shows him a hologram of the Castle's map. He follows along, running up and through the hallways. The boots effortlessly making his footsteps quieter. Without them, he'd surely get caught with his heavy metal legs running on metal ground.   
  
Matt tapped a button on his sleeve and a map of the Castle's layout was shown to Matt. It was a dim, blue light. But with the blue lights that illuminated the hallways, Matt would get away with the hologram's light being the light in the walls.   
  
Everything was going to plan. Now the hard part is getting to the main deck and searching through.   
  
The hallways were long. He wondered how those people that came down to talk to U'rin when they first arrived walk around this place without getting lost.  
  
Soon, Matt makes it to the main deck. A platform with two hand controls was in the middle of the room, and a dashboard, long and blue, sat in front of the windows that showed his planet. Above it all, sat a large crystal.   
  
Matt eyed the dashboard though. He used the piece of tech he had and hid between the window and the dashboard. He stick the piece on the dashboard. His sleeve illuminated and showed him the documents and controls.   
  
He's in.  
  
Matt gets to work right away. He doesn't know how advanced the main deck's censors of invasion is, but he doesn't want to risk it by taking his sweet time.   
  
Matt looked through the documents. Nothing Galra related besides freeing labor camp prisoners and plans to take Zarkon down. Hundreds of plans and hundreds of ideas. Matt filtered the documents to 'HELP ZARKON' and nothing came up.   
  
He then looks through the cameras. He want to make sure no one is around. The hallways are empty. Matt looks back at some of the tapes and wipes out footage that show him running around. Not a single trace of his existence must show he was here.   
  
He keeps the cameras as a separate screen and gets to work at another. He learns what some controls do, reads more documents, and read the stats of the Castle.   
  
Matt noticed a figure walking down a hallway in the camera. He closed his holograms and hid deeper behind the dashboard. He waited. And waited.   
  
It was maybe thirty minutes, and nothing came inside the room.

Matt dared to sneak a peak above the dashboard. Nothing was there. Just a still room.  
  
Matt let out a heavy breath. He then grabs his tech, shoves it back into his bag, and decides to leave. If someone is awake or wondering about, his stake of getting caught is higher. And Matt doesn't know what the people of Voltron are capable of doing.  
  
Matt opens up the map again, going off and following it. Matt runs around the long hallways. Longer than he did getting to the main deck.   
  
'Why is this Castle so huge?' Matt thought, opening a new floor on the map. 'This castle is bigger than fucking Spain!' Matt thought. He was over exaggerating, he knows. But his chances of getting caught is higher than when he entered the Castle.

He's running back and forth. Back, forth, up, down the hallways. He’s even more lost than when he started. Matt minimized the hologram map to see more and found out he's even farther from the exit.

Matt sighs loudly, and turns around. But only to be face to face with Voltron.

But the figure isn't Voltron. He’s human?

The figure is tall, lanky, and blue. Matt can't see much but the shocked face of the figure. The figure was in a robe, headphones around it’s neck, and an eye mask on it’s head. The figure stood there, staring at Matt.

Matt was still, but his instincts clicked in and he quickly opened his bag, grabbed his weapon and pointed it at the figure.

This seemed to bring the figure out of its trance, because it then yelps at the sight of a knife toward itself. Matt holds his stance.

The figure doesn't charge at Matt, but it runs away. Matt doesn't care, it gives him more time to leave and he better leave now!

Matt pulls out the map again, and follows it as best as he can with the adrenaline zipping through his body like electricity.

Matt finds the exit in the corner of his eye. He feels his heart wrench at the sight of the door. He runs for it, but an abrupt pain from his waist started s to eat away at his skin.

Matt yells in pain, holding his waist, slowing down, but doesn't stop running. The same pain, except at the side of his head, flares. This time, Matt is taken down.

Matt falls to the hard ground. His head and waist burning. He can feel his eyes well up in tears of pain, and he looks up to his attacker.

Her hair is messy and she wore a nightgown. Matt recognized that silver hair and skin. But the face she wore showed no mercy and seriousness. Her weapon is a staff and she held it in front of her, shielding herself.

“Who are you? What are you doing in my castle?” She yelled.

Matt groaned. Coughing at the use of his voice, he gasps “I am Matt Holt.” before going into another coughing fit.

Matt looks up to her again, but her face duplicates. He’s dizzy. Matt feels like he’ll vomit. He closes his eyes to stop them from burning.

He doesn't remember anything after that.

 

 

Falling.

Matt feels like he’s falling.

A cold fall. He doesn't feel protected, like someone pushed him off a cliff to follow a waterfall down the mountain and into the icy river below.

Cold air bites at his body. The heaviness of his legs feel like they weigh a ton each. His hair is messy in it’s curls and longer length.

Soon, he lands. But not into a cold river as he expected, but into a firm, warm surface. It shouts to whomever. Matt can't feel his body anymore.

He dares to open his eyes. The surface he lands into is a person. A human? Five more figures run in and look at Matt with a worried look. Matt can't think, he can't speak, he can't move.

The figure that holds him yells his name. Over and over, but Matt can't work the strength to call back.

“Matt?” It calls.

“Matt?” A new, younger female voice calls to him. The voice is so familiar.

“Katie?” He weakly asks.

He doesn't hear anything anymore. He feels a warm hand grab his before slipping back into the unconscious.

Matt wakes again. This time, he's in a bed. He's much more conscious this time. He turns his head and looks at the bedside table. A cup of cold tea sat there, along with an alien flower and a lamp. The lamp illuminates a dim glow to the room, much like his own lamp he had in his dorm at the Garrison for late night studying. The lamp gives him a small sense of familiarity and homesickness.

He tried to sit up, but a familiar pain shot up his spine from his waist. Matt stopped moving after that, going back to lie in the bed.

Matt didn't fall asleep again. He stayed there, waiting. He wasn't thinking at all. He thought of his journal, but remembered he left it in his tent.

Cursing to himself, he opened the bedside table’s drawers and looked for a sheet of paper and a pen. He found a book along with several other items that wouldn't be useful. Looking in the drawer below the one he searched through, he found a pen.

Matt smiled with triumph. He looked for a blank page in the book and tore it out of it. He set the blank page on the front cover of the book, clicked open his pen, and began to write.

  
**(??? time - estimated november first or second)**   
_my master plan barely worked.  
apparently, voltron came by and allied with the Rebellion. I didn't really trust it, so late at night i planned to look into the castle of lions (voltron) and hijack into its documents and so forth._

_to say the least, i was caught._

_the lady who came down to talk to u’rin beat me up. my head is killing me, so i'm writing this at an angle. my handwriting is sloppier today. and i don't have my journal with me, so i'm writing in a spare page out of a book and a pen i found. i don't know how i'm going to glue this page into the journal, as it is a small book. i think i'll just fold this and stick it into the book in its rightful place._

_i don't know why i was treated with hospitality by voltron actually. i remember cold air and falling onto a person? and a very familiar voice called for me? that's all i remember. maybe once someone walks in or i just give up on waiting and find someone will enlighten me what's happening._

_it's strange to have this much room to write. usually, i write small in my usual book or write as little as i can. but now with this estimated six by eight inch paper, i feel like i should explain some stuff._

_let's start with my and shiro’s relationship. cause that's the lightest subject i got._

_shiro and i met in a garrison flight class. we were both sophomores. blah blah blah we got paired in the simulation and became a team. slowly, i developed feelings around the end of sophomore year. i never told shiro about it until we were paired for kerberos for several reasons. A.) i will not suffer a year with him in a small spacecraft with my crush and my DAD and b.) it was ridiculous at first, saying that we might get abducted and whatnot. to say the least, we did get abducted._

_i'm glad i told him cause apparently he liked me at the same time i started to develop feelings?? i'm confused to this day on how he even thought about liking me honestly._

_now that's over, i wanna talk about him._

  
The door opened. Out of reflex, Matt jumped and hid the book, the page, and pen under the pillow and looked at his intruder.

The intruder was in yellow and wore a concerned look on his chubby face. He noticed Matt’s wanted privacy and yelped a little “Sorry!” and quickly closed the door.

Matt had no idea who the intruder was, be he detected that continuing his entry was now going to have to be put at another time. Matt lied back down on his pillow, ignoring the hardness of the book underneath. he curled up in himself fetus position and waited.

Shortly, a muffled “He's awake!” was heard from outside the room. He heard nothing else but a door opening. Two figures stepped inside.

Matt opened his eyes and looked at his visitors. Matt couldn't believe his eyes. The yellow boy stood nervously to the very man Matt was talking about in his entry.

Despite the throbbing in Matt’s head and waist, he lifted himself from the bed and stared in awe.

“Shiro?” He asked in a raspy voice.

The figure that Matt swore was Shiro let out a little cry. He covered his mouth with his hand (a false hand?) and tears began to threat at his eyes.

“Holy shit. It’s you, Shiro!” Matt cried. He shoved the covered off his body and hugged Shiro tightly. Shiro hugged back with just as much force. The pain in Matt’s head and waist were nothing but a distant feeling.

They stood there, holding each other and crying into each other’s shoulders. Small, desperate but loving kisses were given, as well as quiet “I missed you,” and “I’m sorry.”’s were displayed.

Eventually, they let go of each other. Shiro looks different. New scar across his nose, white bangs, more muscle. Now thinking of it, Matt must've looked different too with his longer hair and the scar that runs across from his ear down to his jaw. Oh, and his new legs.

Their audience looked uncomfortable, like they are disrupting a special moment. The same body in yellow was flushed with a hint of pink, and the peeking faces that looked at Matt and Shiro were also just as red as Yellow Boy, but they looked more surprised.

Especially the one in green.

Matt took a closer look at the green person. They looked an awful lot like Matt himself, but looking closer a that he looked, the more Matt could see their features.

“Katie?” Matt asked, squinting to see the person. They had hair like how Matt’s was before Kerberos, and big round glasses. Matt’s own glasses.

“Matt!” Katie cried, hugging Matt tightly. His waist was killing him, but Matt could care less. He hugged Katie back with just as much relief as she gave him. Katie pulled away, looking up at her brother. Fat tears ran down her face, but her smile said so much relief and sorrow.

“I'm sorry I couldn't find you faster.” She cried, barely a whisper. Matt felt tears prick at his own eyes, too, but he just hugged her for a while longer.

  
**(2:39am Castle of Lions cycle time - november third)**   
_i trust voltron. mostly because katie and shiro are apart of them._

_i'm back into my small book, but i don't care about the space in it, i'm going to write everything that happened, and everything that's gonna happen._

_the boy in blue named lance apologized for calling me out and the woman, allura, apologized for nearly denting my head. i honestly couldn't mind. lance called allura to kick my ass but that resulted in reuniting with shiro and katie. god i'm glad i wasn't successful in my sneaky self mission._

_i returned to my tent in the rebellion fortress with bandages around my stomach and head. to say the least, i was questioned a lot. but i told them the truth. “i was being sneaky and snuck into the castle of lions. to say the least, i was caught.” i said to all of them with a laugh. they looked at me with such terror, but i said “it's okay though! turns out, my boyfriend and sister are part of voltron!”_

_most of them had no idea what i was talking about, clearly unfamiliar with the word “boyfriend” or “sister”. it was funny to see their confused, terrified faces._

_i was surprised to see that allura and her funky royal adviser, (who's really like the cool vodka aunt) coran, let me go so easily, despite the fact that i have literally snuck into their castle and files and snooped around like a racoon. but i assume that the faces of shiro and katie when they recognized me made them see otherwise._

_now i have no idea what happened before i was tossed around like a cat toy by allura and woke up in (apparently) shiro’s room. all i gathered was “FUCKING WILD YO!” from lance, hunk and shadow the hedgehog (i never got his name, but he had a mullet and a resting bitch face so i never wanted to ask) judgement, and katie and shiro looking .3 second away from sobbing._

_now thinking about it, i was too._

_now that my sentimental november third entry is over, i wanna continue the entry i did on the spare paper that i took back and is sitting beside me as i write._

_shiro._

_well, my thoughts is a lot more different than they were an entry ago. now i know that shiro is alive and okay (beside the arm and the many scars,) he's doing fine._

_but what i was feeling an entry ago was the feeling of missing someone you love and just wanting to kiss them endless._

_and i did that._

_as much as we could've, we made sure to touch. to let the other know we’re alive and in each other's presence. we held hands, touched shoulders, and shiro even put his hand on my back leading me around the castle. at every chance we could've gotten, we gave each other small kisses. hopefully we’ll do something more, just to say “hello. i've missed you.”_

_shiro is a nerd. the biggest, muscular nerd i know. he's handsome, clever, and dare i say a fucking meme. before kerberos, the only jokes he’d make was dad jokes our space jokes. now he's dropping 4/20 on me and even dabbed behind lance, pretending it was his arm ‘malfunctioning’._

_i don't know where he's getting it from, but i can guess it's either a.) katie or b.) lance._

_as i write, i can't help but feel i'm going everywhere. and i am! my feelings are completely off the walls and i want to share so much, but i already took up four pages front and back._

_to conclude this long ass entry, shiro hasn't really changed. yes he’s definitely more.. aware, and his jokes has definitely expanded, but he is still shiro. he's still his stupid self, so handsome and funny._

_i guess me, matt holt, the 24yr old human astrobiologist, has more to live for._

**Author's Note:**

> it's late, i've been working on this for too long. my dog is barking at a rAcOOn that's dOInG nOTHING besides chilling on the roof. and i'm lazy to make it more sentimental but this is like 5400+ words and i will never repeat the time i wrote 10,000+ words. that took me TOO long and i ended up discontinuing the series cause of inaccuracy and cause i wasn't into the fandom anymore :)


End file.
